This is much more constructive and gentle and its wisdom than others I’ve read. I know I am a smart arse and it is my own undoing at times. I don’t mean for it to be so, most of the time. And I know others like me. We bounce off each other: it’s hilarious because it is simply our ‘ intellectualised’ egos in the way.
We can ruin conversations, just like that.
It causes me great pain that I do this. There are psychological reasons why a person can be like this and I don’t think even having intelligence is a factor sometimes.
My take is to be kind to yourself. Don’t cut yourself into pieces over social misdemeanours. Do a little bit of work on yourself.
Confide in an understanding person. Cut yourself slack and then start again.
I made a pact with myself back in October - never “argue” about anything with anyone. ( exception: critical matter of life and/or health ) However, I’m happy to have a discussion with the intent of mutual growth. My life has been so much more peaceful these past 5 months.
Let us put to rest the misuse of and confusion with the word “humility”.
To quote, once again, from The Princess Bride, “You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.” (Inigo Montoya)
Humility is not the antidote to “arrogance” (or having an inflated opinion of one's own importance or abilities). Besides, most people misuse the word arrogance when someone is simply exuding confidence in their talents.
This is just another example of hatred of the good for being the good.
Humility is not acknowledging your weaknesses, it means “having a modest view of one's value or importance”. (See Oxford Dictionary) Honesty is the word (and the virtue) you are actually seeking: it means being “free of deceit; truthful and sincere”. (See “Honest” in Oxford Dictionary)
A balanced ego is always the goal.
It's a daily practice worth pursuing.
The ego should be neither seen nor heard. This lesson does not stem from the kindest of hearts, but is learned from the first cry of life.
The ego's lessons often come from our hardest moments, not our gentlest ones.
Thank you for this thoughtful perspective.
This is much more constructive and gentle and its wisdom than others I’ve read. I know I am a smart arse and it is my own undoing at times. I don’t mean for it to be so, most of the time. And I know others like me. We bounce off each other: it’s hilarious because it is simply our ‘ intellectualised’ egos in the way.
We can ruin conversations, just like that.
It causes me great pain that I do this. There are psychological reasons why a person can be like this and I don’t think even having intelligence is a factor sometimes.
My take is to be kind to yourself. Don’t cut yourself into pieces over social misdemeanours. Do a little bit of work on yourself.
Confide in an understanding person. Cut yourself slack and then start again.
You're self-aware - that's huge! Being clever is your superpower, not your flaw. Just channel it wisely and give yourself grace when you stumble.
🙏🏻❤️
Powerful writing!! Ego is the Enemy!
Thank you, Iain!
I made a pact with myself back in October - never “argue” about anything with anyone. ( exception: critical matter of life and/or health ) However, I’m happy to have a discussion with the intent of mutual growth. My life has been so much more peaceful these past 5 months.
What a powerful shift in mindset, Lee! Those 5 months of peace speak volumes about the wisdom of your approach.
Thank you!
Instead of fighting and arguing, issues can be sorted out in a debate or peaceful manner. Impatience destroys the whole ambience and relationship.
You're right on target, Chidanand.
Peaceful dialogue preserves what matters most in our relationships. Impatience rarely leads to understanding.
Last sentence of the post was a powerful summary. Love it
Great post. Thank you.
PS—Humility is Not a Virtue.
Let us put to rest the misuse of and confusion with the word “humility”.
To quote, once again, from The Princess Bride, “You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.” (Inigo Montoya)
Humility is not the antidote to “arrogance” (or having an inflated opinion of one's own importance or abilities). Besides, most people misuse the word arrogance when someone is simply exuding confidence in their talents.
This is just another example of hatred of the good for being the good.
Humility is not acknowledging your weaknesses, it means “having a modest view of one's value or importance”. (See Oxford Dictionary) Honesty is the word (and the virtue) you are actually seeking: it means being “free of deceit; truthful and sincere”. (See “Honest” in Oxford Dictionary)
Yes